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"Advert for a friendly bank"

if anyone finds the ideal, let me know! In the meantime, this site may give you some useful ideas about how to handle money matters... the Halifax Bank

a poem by Stefan Lewis-Fish


Chairman Fish's




E-mail to Stefan Lewis-Fish

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If matters financial you find hard to master,

You may, find yourself trapped in personal disaster,

But, without even asking a few words of thanks,

You can always rely on the staff of your banks.

You've handstanding orders and directed debits,

To handle your bills and receive all your credits.

Mortgages, loans and o'erdraft facilities,

For meeting your unforeseen liabilities.

And what about cash for that exotic break,

In bazaars and bars, what money do they take?

To change pound into rouble, shekel or euro,

Just pop along to your exchanging bureau.

To handle your savings of whatever amounts,

You've PEPs, Tessas, ISAs and deposit accounts,

And if you, in credit, your current account, keep,

You'll find we don't charge you, now isn't that cheap!

If you've still got surplus capital to invest,

And want to get much better net interest,

Or just want some friendly, expert advice,

You'll find your bank manager helpful and nice!

Of course, you may still wish to hide all of your assets,

Keeping them handy, under your mattress,

But beware of the villains: burglars and crooks,

Or have sense and let somebody else do your books...